This weekend, I attended a coed baby shower. Since I have been a guest at many baby showers in the past sans the couple concept, I figured the same rules would apply. I would mingle with the mom-to-be, meet other women, eat delicious pregnancy friendly foods and give a good luck kiss goodbye to the glowing hostess. No drama, no stress. However, I didn’t take into account that bringing my other half would be a game changer. From not scaring the mom about giving birth to keeping his father angst to himself, I realized once the night ended, maybe I should have educated my husband on the formalities at these once traditional ladies only functions.
For anyone who is invited to a couple’s shower, here’s a list of some Dos and Don’ts when celebrating with the expecting parents.
- Do tell the couple how happy you are for them and emphasize the positives about being a mom and dad.
- Do offer to help the mom-to-be with anything she needs. Don’t let your husband ask the baby daddy what he was thinking.
- Don’t steal their baby thunder. Feel free to talk about your kids briefly, but don’t brag about how great they are or bash how bad they’ve become. The party is not therapy for you.
- Don’t tell the expecting parents in your most frightening father voice, “Sleep now because you will never sleep again.”
- Do offer some parental guidance with tips and techniques that have worked for you, but don’t expect them to remotely understand what you are talking about it. They’re still reeling from the no sleep warning from your date.
- Don’t let your partner point at a pregnant woman who is carrying her third child and say, “Better you than me.”
I’m not sure what’s worse…the silent awkward moments women encounter on first dates or the ones they experience at social mommy meetings. Finding a mommy buddy is no easy task. Not only are you trying to make a good first impression on your future “soul mom,” but you are also trying to help your children find potential play dates. With that being said, you try really hard not to say anything offensive, insincere or craaaazzzzy (yes, for some of us that is very hard)! Your date ends and you hope she’ll ask for your number. Maybe she’ll call you to grab a cup of coffee or even better she’ll invite you and your kids over for a fun afternoon. But neither happens. You go your separate ways and wonder if you just let the “one” get away. You worry that you’ll never find your perfect match. You love being a resident in mommy land, but wouldn’t it be easier to explore this unfamiliar and always evolving territory with a partner, teammate, “wing” mom? A wing mom is the person who really gets you. You can confide in her and she’ll always have your back. More importantly, she’ll be able to tell you when to relax or if you really are being crazy. It’s a bond that will develop over time, but a necessary one that can carry you through all the ups and downs of motherhood.
Ladies, for those of you who have found your right hand mom, share this article to thank her for being your sanity savior. If you are still desperately seeking, then don’t send this article to any prospects because that would just be creepy.
One of my biggest fears as a mom is being judged. Does my mother-in-law think her son is a better parent than me? Do my relatives disagree with my infant’s nap routine? Do my seemingly perfect new mommy friends doubt my disciplining decisions? However, I never thought I would have to fear what my baby was thinking, until the day she took her morning bottle and gave me the proverbial “finger”!
Maybe she thought I was doing a crappy job OR maybe, she knew a laugh was exactly what I needed to relieve one of my stressful first-time mommy moments. Want to impress people with your baby bonding skills? Learn 5 things your sweet little bundle of joy may be telling you about your parenting style and more.
Sign 1: He falls asleep on your shoulder.
Translation: You are too boring for him.
Sign 2: Her head falls back when you go to kiss her.
Translation: Hey mom, have you heard of a tic tac, certs, gum, anything?
Sign 3: As she begins to dose off, your voice startles her causing her hands to fly up in the air.
Translation: What the F! I’m sleeping.
Sign 4: His eyes roll behind his head.
Translation: You obviously don’t know what you are doing.
Sign 5: He grabs your nose.
Translation: Your schnoz is too big!
I’m not saying I had the glow…you know the best compliment anyone can give an expecting mom. I mean, I was a mom-to-be who missed her glow because IT NEVER CAME. Not even a sprinkle of it. I waited for the moment to make strangers squint because I blinded them with my illuminating, bright and shiny everything-is-perfect pregnancy sparkle. Nope, It never happened.
Don’t get me wrong. I loved the idea of being pregnant. I couldn’t wait to try to conceive, take a test and watch it turn positive. Finally, I can be one of those high fashion women walking around the city showing off her adorable bump in designer maternity workout clothes with a permanent smile on my face.
I vowed to go to the gym three times a week, drink plenty of warm water (my fave) and continue to eat my top three meals, chicken parm, sushi and burritos. At 5 weeks and 6 days pregnancy was everything I expected it to be and more. I was happy and feeling great. On the first day of week 6 I jumped into the shower. As the water splashed into my mouth I had a bitter aftertaste. I knew I was about to vomit, but instead of being scared I was siked! Is it really happening? Am I experiencing my first episode of morning sickness? Gagging never felt so rewarding. Yes! Another sign that I’m really going to have a baby.
Let’s just say I factored in one or maybe two uninvited visits from the morning sickness monster, but never did I prepare for the nausea to last throughout my entire pregnancy. No longer, could I walk on the treadmill without getting motion sickness, think about chicken, guzzle down warm water or even let the image of sushi or burritos float in my head without dashing to the bathroom. I experienced many sleepless nights, false fears, and prayed for the lurking queasiness to go away. I battled with the condition up to the day my daughter arrived. The moment I looked at her wrinkled face and big eyes I knew it was all worth it and then…I asked the nurse for a bucket!